By Kristen Stroud. Published in Northstate Parent Magazine, March 2009 issue.
Did you ever wish for a trusted captain with a smart navigation system to assure you or your loved one’s safe passage across the tossing seas of adolescence? Or dreamed of landing in a safe harbor inhabited by caring people where you could be completely yourself without fear of judgment or ridicule? Across the North State, indeed the nation, girls and boys are joining structured peer-directed skill-building groups to help steer them wisely on their journey to adulthood.
Reviving a time-honored tradition, Girls Circle, and more recently Boys Council (Tides Center projects sponsored by Girls Circle Association), provide evidence-based support group curriculum and training designed to help young girls and boys make healthy decisions, instill self-confidence and improve interpersonal relationships. The groups meet weekly for honest dialogue about issues such as friendship, body image and respectful relationships by using poetry, movement, art, nature, journaling, role-playing and other activities.
Girls Circle & Boys Council Resources
Girls Circle Association
www.girlscircle.com; (707) 794-9477.
National Girls Circle organization.
Boys Council
www.boyscouncil.com; (707) 794-9477.
National Boys Council organization.
Girls Inc. of the Northern Sacramento Valley
www.girlsincnsv.org; (530) 527-7767.
Offering Girls Circle program in Shasta and Tehama Counties.
Health Improvement Partnership – Shasta County
www.hipshasta.org; (530) 225-8528.
Offering Boys Council program in Redding.
Siskiyou Community Services Council
Email: siskiyoucsc {at} sbcglobal.net; (530) 926-5927. Offering Girls Circle and Boys Council programs in Siskiyou County.
Anderson Teen Center
www.ci.anderson.ca.us/teencenter.asp; (530) 365-9021. Offering Girls Circle and Boys Council programs in Anderson.
Trained facilitators at schools, family/community resource centers and juvenile detention homes provide the space and guidance for 9-12 year old middle school tweens and 13-18 year old high school teens to explore choice-making, communication and relationship skills. Participants set the guidelines, and evaluations show the programs get results. Girls learn to make wise and healthy choices, maintain authentic connections and stay true to themselves. Boys learn ways to connect with others, discover principles to guide their actions, and develop empathy and respect.
Susan Brown, mother of two, knew when she adopted her oldest daughter thirteen years ago that she wanted her to be confident and self-assured without needing to conform to limiting cultural stereotypes. Discovering the Girls Circle program allowed Susan to start tween and teen circles in Southern Siskiyou County, fulfilling her wish to give her daughter and other girls in the community life-long tools for self-respect, healthy relationships, and authentic personal expression.
Barbara McIver, former Tehama County Supervisor and mother of four grown daughters, says high rates of teen pregnancy, low rates of educational attainment, and a perceived lack of choices motivated her to, as she states whole-heartedly, “do something for girls!” As executive director of Girls Inc. of the Northern Sacramento Valley, she facilitates Girls Circles and provides many other services to girls in Shasta and Tehama Counties.
In the circles, Barbara assists girls to be self-assured enough to overcome perceived gender restrictions and cultural stereotypes such as the “beauty myth” that girls have to be thin, beautiful, or wear the right clothes to be likeable. Barbara says, “I know the circles are making a difference when girls are able to identify their strengths, act within their values, and live life with resilience.”
Jessica Amezcua of Weed High School Girls Circle says, “I have learned to trust in myself and to be honest. I have stopped putting myself down and I have more fun.” At Mount Shasta High School, facilitator Karen White notices, “the girls seem more confident and empowered, and are better able to make healthy decisions for themselves.”
Learning to make smart choices is a consistent theme in Boys Councils facilitated by Rick Crowley for Health Improvement Partnership – Shasta. With a five-year-old son, a grown daughter and three grandsons, Rick understands how girls and boys communicate differently. The 14-18-year-old boys in juvenile detention attending the Councils “tend to live by an unspoken code. We work with them to understand how to break that,” Rick says. Rick appreciates how the talking circle tradition of early people from around the world evokes “deep speaking and listening from the heart,” benefiting both boys and girls.
Rick reflects, “We have a small window of opportunity to make a difference with at-risk and incarcerated boys. We plant a seed we may never harvest. After the sessions end, we have to let the boys’ choices determine their success.” Rick hopes the honest, healthy talk in the councils sets the boys up for a successful transition back to life in their communities.
Facilitating Girls Circles at Discovery High School in Yreka allows Amy Conroy, Program Coordinator for the Siskiyou County Community Services Council, to give back to the community she grew up in. Moved by the honesty and vulnerability shared by the girls, Amy extended the initial 12-week sessions at the girls’ request. The girls report feeling safe, supported and understood, and that the Circles help them feel better about themselves. They also convey that with improved communication skills, they get along with each other more easily.
Melissa Peterson, Program Coordinator for the Anderson Teen Center, loves the circles as much as the girls do because she sees that “the girls walk taller and feel more confident.” She adds, “We create a respectful environment where girls learn to make smart choices and resolve conflict in healthy ways.” The circles mean so much to so many – as one Anderson participant explains, “It is what I look forward to all week. I love it and I wish it would never end.”
Believing in the power of connection to transform young lives, caring and dedicated adults in our region are facilitating self-awareness, connectivity and hope to boys and girls, strengthening our Northern California communities.
Siskiyou County Writer Kristen Meyer Stroud and her husband cherish the moments of authentic expression they experience day to day with their 10 and 13-year-old sons.